The 2017 NBA Draft All-Idiot Teams

Here is this year’s lineup of teams who won’t be drafting in the first round – or lost significant position in the draft.


This year, they lost the no. 1 pick to Boston as a pick swap from the Garnett/Pierce trade. Next year, they have to hand over their pick to Boston outright before it’s all finally over. It’s ok, I’m sure they can still do something with the no. 27 pick.


Turned the no. 3 pick into the no. 5 pick.

This is yet another highly underrated move from the Hinkie era in Philly. In July 2015, in return for taking on the salary dumps of Nik Stauskas, Carl Landry and Jason Thompson (so that Sacramento could sign Rajon Rondo!), Philly received:

  • Sacramento’s unprotected 2019 first round pick.

Just… Fucking wow.

Without both of these things, there’s no way Philly could have made the Boston trade and catapulted themselves up to the no. 1 pick:

Sam Hinkie is the hero of this story. Hinkie’s fingerprints are on every asset Bryan Colangelo, current Sixers president of basketball operations, will keep, use, trade, swap, or release. No matter how much elbow grease Colangelo puts into molding the Sixers roster, Hinkie’s fingerprints will remain. In the hearts of many Sixers fans, Colangelo will never be able to match his predecessor. But not all heroes finish the job, or do it alone. As Hinkie wrote in his exit manifesto, “Your club is on solid footing now, with much hard work yet to be done.” Colangelo’s job is to take what Hinkie started to the next level. And he is on his way by establishing his own legacy as the Process closer, with the decision to send the no. 3 pick and a heavily protected 2018 Lakers first (it will convey if it falls between nos. 2 and 5) to the Celtics for the no. 1 pick in this year’s draft. (If the Lakers pick does not convey, the Sixers will send the Celtics Sacramento’s 2019 first-rounder).

If Philly takes Fultz and he turns into a generational star, then it’ll all have been because of Hinkie’s genius.

As for Sacramento…


And in case you were wondering, why yes, Nik Stauskas did have something to say about it!

Which also reminds me…

New Orleans

Let go of what will be the no. 10 pick (plus Buddy Hield and some ancillary pupu) as part of the Boogie trade.

While I can understand why the Pelicans made this trade, this one could really hurt them if enough of the following very possible things happen:

  • Boogie can’t co-exist with Anthony Davis (because he’s, you know… a complete wingnut);
  • Boogie and AD co-exist, and both put up great individual numbers, but New Orleans still stinks because:
    • the rest of the team’s talent pool is about as deep as Carmen Electra’s acting ability;
    • Boogie is a good stats/bad team legend in waiting; and
    • having two seven footers dominating the ball isn’t the trendy way to play pro basketball at the moment; and
  • either or both Hield and this year’s no. 10 pick turn into stars.

Wait a minute, back the fuck up: did Sacramento make a good trade?


You know what, you’re probably right: they could have put Cousins in a box, left him outside someone’s front door, rang the bell and run away giggling – and it would have been the right thing to do.

Which means they made a good trade!

Vlade/Vivek: what do you guys think?



This one goes all the way back to 2013.

In an attempt to keep Rudy Gay, the Grizzlies gave up what will be the no. 20 pick in this year’s draft… and Mo Buckets:

Memphis sent big man Marreese Speights, guards Wayne Ellington and Josh Selby, and a future first-round draft pick to the Cavs for forward Jon Leuer.

The pick is the most valuable part of the deal for the Cavs. In 2015 or 2016, if the Grizzlies’ first-rounder falls between picks 6-14, the pick goes to the Cavs. Starting in 2017, if the Grizzlies’ pick falls outside the top five, the Cavs then get the selection. In 2019, the pick becomes unprotected. It is the sixth first-round pick the Cavs have traded for since 2010.

The Grizzlies, under pressure to reduce payroll, had been in trade talks with teams around the league involving stars Rudy Gay and Zach Randolph.

This deal is expected to ease those concerns in the short term and allow the Grizzlies to keep their starters together. Memphis owes Gay, Randolph and Marc Gasol nearly $50 million combined next season.

“It’s a trade that had to be made from a business decision, so we have a chance to keep our core together and we move forward,” Memphis coach Lionel Hollins said. “Hate to lose Mo (Speights) and Wayne or Josh, but it’s part of the business of basketball and you have to do things. You have to make some tough decisions, and tough decisions were made and we live with them and move forward.”

In the end, they lost Gay, Mo AND the pick – which has now ended up in Portland’s hands following a series of trades ending with the Nurkic trade.

For good measure, the Grizzlies also don’t have a second round pick either this year. It’s alright, I’m sure they’ve got plenty of good quality youth to work with.


Let’s just say I’m not sure that getting Bojan Bogdanovic and Chris McCullogh was worth giving up the no. 22 pick, Marcus Thornton and Andrew Nicholson.


Traded the no. 28 pick and Corey Brewer to the Lakers for Lou Williams.

While Williams played reasonably well for the Rockets, he:

  • turns 31 in October;
  • didn’t make the Rockets better contenders then they already were (i.e. NOT even close to contenders); and

A team that drafted Clint Capela at no. 25 and Montrezl Harrell at 32 should know better.

LA Clippers

Gave up the no. 23 pick to Toronto so that they could dump Jared Dudley.

GM Doc Rivers just keeps on giving!

Coming soon: Lloydy and Dave’s 2017 NBA Draft Diary. Here’s last year’s in case you missed it.

NB: Cleveland and Golden State also won’t be drafting this year, but have been left off this list for obvious reasons.